wanna say sayonara to dieting?

You Gotta have support

An Encouraging Word, Vol. 4

an occasional note from Jean Fain

 Harvard Medical School psychotherapist & hypnosis instructor

 Published Aug. 2, 2006

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Read on if you’re interested in losing weight without the deprivation associated with dieting. Feel free to forward “An Encouraging Word” to a friend. If you didn’t receive this note directly from Jean Fain and you’d like to subscribe, send an email to the address above with the word “subscribe” in the subject field. If you’d rather not receive future announcements, send an email with the word “unsubscribe” in the subject field.

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It takes support to lose weight and keep it off without dieting. And not from those near and dear who are dropping 10, 20, 30 pounds, seemingly overnight, with the latest crash diet. You know who I’m talking about: you bump into so-and-so in the supermarket and she looks fabulous. When you ask her how she lost the weight, she coos about such-and-such diet as if she’s just fallen in love. Part of you is jealous; part of you knows better. Part of you knows that quotable quote by mindful eating expert Geneen Roth to be nothing but the truth:

“For every diet, there is an equal and opposite binge.”

If you want to lose weight sans dieting, it helps to have like-minded folks to remind you that permanent weight loss can be as simple as paying attention to the experience of eating, bite after bite. If your body needed you to count calories, carbs or points, you would have been born with a calculator rather than hard-wired to eat when hungry, stop when full.

Ideally, your supporters would include real people, who live, breathe and maybe exercise nearby. Real support might include a mindful eating group, like Feeding Ourselves (http://www.feedingourselves.com/); a yoga class, or an all-inclusive program, such as Lighten Up at Dr. Herb Benson’s Mind-Body Institute (http://www.mbmi.org/programs/wellness_weightManagement.asp).

But you can make do with virtual support -- an on-line weight-loss buddy; a web magazine, like the brand new www.eons.com, just dubbed “myspace.com” for baby boomers by the Wall Street Journal. (Be sure to check out Body, their Health & Wellness section.) An e-newsletter can also sustain you.  Once you line up real or virtual support, mindful eating becomes more than a good intention. It becomes possible, as does losing weight and keeping it off.

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If you’re unfamiliar with mindful eating or just want a quick review, here’s an excerpt of “Am I Full Yet? Hello Mindful Eating, Goodbye Dieting,” an article recently posted on my website (http://www.jeanfain.com/). The following lessons have helped my clients reign in their eating and head toward a healthier weight:

Place Settings Everyone

Mindful eating begins before you put your napkin in your lap, when you… start the day with a guided meditation CD like “Mindful Eating”  (http://jeanfain.com/cd_purchase.htm); schedule meals when you’re moderately hungry, not ravenous; plan a healthy, balanced menu; set the table with care, take a few calming breaths and then nourish yourself.

Don’t Worry, Be Mindful

 “There are some people who eat an orange but don’t really eat it,” says Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk and meditation master. “They eat their sorrow, fear, anger, past and future.” Instead, whenever your mind wanders off your plate, notice where it’s gone and gently bring it back to the table with the same kindness you’d give a puppy learning to stay.  Susie, a 60-year-old discouraged dieter who adopted a mindfulness practice and promptly dropped eight pounds, quiets her mind before meals by reviewing the wise monk’s “Verses for Eating Mindfully” (from www.parallax.org).

Get to Know Your Hunger

Maeve, an extreme dieter who once trained for a marathon on 600 calories a day, was well acquainted with ravenous, but didn’t recognize lesser degrees of hunger. When this 42-year-old professor learned to attend to the range of hunger cues (from hints of irritability and fleeting thoughts of food to downright crankiness and a single-minded focus on finding sustenance), she started losing weight (32 pounds in 32 weeks) with unprecedented confidence. “For years I used to chastise myself for eating muffins mid-morning,” she says. “I had no idea I was hungry.”  Asking yourself not only if you’re hungry, but how hungry you are, inspires intelligent, nutritious choices and keeps you from that impulsive, no-foods-barred state Maeve describes as “hide the dogs and small children.” 

Are You Full Yet?

We’ve all noticed the feeling of fullness that occurs 20 minutes too late when the blood sugar rises as our internal signal to stop eating. But, I’m sure you’ve also noticed, you can eat a lot in 20 minutes, especially when stressed. Learn first to pay attention to the subtler, early cues (increasing tightness across the abdomen, decreasing pleasure in food), then practice asking yourself ‘Am I full yet?’ and spare yourself the discomfort and self-loathing associated with loosening your belt.

Got Support?

These principles are simple, but putting them into practice, meal after meal, day after day, takes, well, whatever it takes. Support comes in many forms: CDs, books, websites, lectures, individual or group work with a therapist fluent in mindfulness. It took a group for Chrissy, a 37-year-old marketing manager with an “eating disturbance,” as she calls her reflex to snack out of boredom, stress and other uncomfortable feelings. “If I read about mindful eating in a magazine, I don’t know if I would have implemented it,” she says. “But with a group, it’s like working out with a personal trainer. You just do it.”

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In addition to seeing clients in private practice, Jean Fain teaches hypnosis at Cambridge Health Alliance, a teaching affiliate of Harvard Medical School, and she writes for O, The Oprah Magazine, among other women's magazines. More information about Jean Fain’s services and weight-loss CDs is available on her website (www.jeanfain.com).

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(Click the Newsletter link below to read other volumes of "An Encouraging Word.")

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